The Queen Needs To Get Help

Saturday, 6 July 2013  |  Paul

After a recent trip to Windsor Castle, the magnificent fairytale place it is and the Queen’s primary address (her meagre second home being Buckingham Palace and third country ‘cottage’, Sandringham House), I noticed something about our precious nanny. She is quite the hoarder.

I noticed this after watching a BBC programme on hoarding which you may have seen not a few weeks ago. And it occurred to me that the Queen is very much similar to those poor souls featured who find themselves clambering over mountains of carrier bags and furniture just to sleep in their bed, of which there is about an inch left to sleep on. Yeah, Queenie is just like that - but in a different class obviously, of regency furniture and Fortnum and Mason bags. But still.

Have you SEEN how many swords she has on the walls at Windsor? And guns? And plates? It’s ridiculous. But I bet it’s the classic hoarder excuse as she’s wandering around the halls arguing about it with Philip. ‘We really must have a clear out my dear – a car boot sale perhaps.’ ‘Oh but I might need these one day Phillip!’

Well she may have a point I suppose. When the revolution comes.. Perhaps it makes sense to have swords at regular intervals. How cunning of our gracious.